Dyson's Fear 3.0: July 2006

Monday, July 31, 2006

There are no words....

(Note: it's supposedly been photoshopped, but still...)

... for this depth of wrongness.

(Yeah, I cheated. I actually posted this one much later, but it works better this way.)

Media rundown

I think I'm going to shoot at having these things weekly from now on. Not sure if anyone actually pays any attention to them, but I do find it helps me figure out what week it is. (And, no, I'm not really joking there.)

Watching: Shogun Assassin, Negadon: the Monster from Mars, Blue Gender: the Warrior, Tae Guk Gi: the Brotherhood of War, The Brothers Grimm, the pilot of Aquaman, season 10 Stargate SG-1, the rest of Ultraman Vol. 1, a couple more episodes of Flash Gordon, and a couple more episode of Doctor Who series 2.
Listening (to): Black Holes and Revelations by Muse.
Reading: Nothing.
Playing: Nothing.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Maybe this global warming thing isn't all that bad after all...

This is actually kind of frightening, when you really think of the implications of it: 'Global dimming' is darkening the globe: experts

Friday, July 28, 2006

Cross-border relations

From Ted Bastien's Bugsport:

Thursday, July 27, 2006

This one's for Cline

Here's that logo I was talking about:

Fandumb, part th... oh, why do I bother?

Okay, here's one of the best examples of geek mole-hilling. While I agree with some of the sentiment, especially about the non-anamorphic widescreen, they just put way too much effort into something that has a simple, simple answer. So, without further ado, I present:

originaltrilogy.com Forums - The "original crawl" on the new DVD is NOT the original crawl! Screenshot inside!

Yes, they're throwing around terms like 'offensive' and 'refuse to tolerate' about the timing of the opening crawl of the first Star Wars movie that appears on the upcoming DVDs. I should note that this is all based on a trailer and a segment from the documentary Empire of Dreams, and not on the actual DVDs themselves. Also, they're using this tiny example to prove their own hypothesis that the DVDs aren't what they say they are.

Yes, you understand that correctly, they're gnashing their teeth over something they can't prove until they actually see the actual DVDs themselves... and it goes on for four pages of text. My person favorite line from the whole thing:

I knew there was a reason to get suspicious when that paragraph mysteriously disappeared for a few hours.

Pure paranoid delusion. Wow. (Note: I say delusion, as these folks are deluding themselves into thinking that any of this is really important.)

What?

Oh, right, that simple, simple answer:

Just shut up and don't buy the damned DVDs.

Who cares what anyone thinks about your little delusional world where the original cut of Star Wars is some sort of holy writ that George Lucas, it's creator, has blasphemed? Suck it up, deal with it, and get on with your lives.

Yeesh.

You folks give geekdom a bad reputation.

Labels: fandumb, pop culture, star wars

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Afro Samurai

Warning: Not work safe. Contains graphic violence and Samuel L. Jackson.

Best damn music video ever...

Knights of Cydonia by Muse

1 hour, 37 minutes later: By the by, their new album Black Holes and Revelations is just as damn good. Enjoying it as I type this.

Oy Vey

Well, now that things seem to have been fixed at my old, old host things are humped over at my more recent old host. Seems like there's something on the frontpage that offends their filter, but they won't come out and tell me what it is. Nice, real frickin' nice.

So, from here out, Dyson's Fear 2.0 isn't accessible and won't be until I can figure out what's so wrong about. The weird thing is that it worked fine until about a week or so ago. Oh well, at least the files are still there so if I need to find another host for my archives....

Oddly enough, this isn't the reason I moved back to Blogger/BlogSpot, but I think it's become that way.

Wow... welcome to the trailer park

I would like to point out, to the few people like myself who haven't heard of it, the upcoming movie Children of Men.

This is the sort of intelligent SF movie that rarely gets made, and with the number of high-ish profile names attached, we should hopefully have a renaissance of thoughtful SF movies that don't deal with aliens, high-tech gun fights, or kung-fu wire-work. If this is a good film, then I suspect that the post-Star Wars SF film may indeed raise the genre out of the matinee.

Of course, leave it to the French to make bang-bang stylish with Renaissance, an incredibly stylish CG animated SF action movie. Now, at least if my mind isn't tickled by Children of Men, my eye will be with this one.

Then there's the duel of the dueling illusionist movies, The Prestige and The Illusionist. Who'd have thought there'd be a conflict in that niche genre.

And, finally, there's Darren Aranofsky's The Fountain. Could be good, but it could also be his version of The Cell.

Up, Up and away

Paul Dini, on seeing Superman Returns:

Yeah, I saw the new SUPERMAN movie.

Eh, it was okay.

Considering the train wreck it could have been it was outstanding, but as it was, to me at least, it was just okay.

Given Superman's history in comics, movies, radio, television and a dozen other places, I was disappointed that the filmmakers looked only as far as the two movies made in the late 70's for their inspiration. But Superman, both as a character and as an entire concept, is much richer than those films. Clark the bumbler, the barely developed Daily Planet staff (besides Lois), the Superman/Clark/Lois triangle, goddamn wacky Lex and his daffy henchmoll du jour, ugh. Enough. You clowns are spending, when all is said and done, 300 million dollars. Show me something I can't get at the video rental store. Screw the fact THE INCREDIBLES is a cartoon, give me a story that's better than that, because animated or not, THE INCREDIBLES is the new gold standard for superhero movies. SUPERMAN RETURNS was in live-action (partially) and it felt like a cartoon, a flat, boring one. THE INCREDIBLES had characters that were compelling, some cool plot twists, great action sequences, and a villain's plot that, while not the most original, actually made sense. Weren't too many of those elements in SUPERMAN RETURNS.

I liked bits and pieces -- Eva Marie Saint, Brandon Routh, the Smallville flashbacks, Superman seen via a security camera foiling a convenience store robbery, the whole saving the plane sequence. Sweet raisins in a bowl of bland oatmeal.

Then again, I saw it for free, so what right do I have to complain?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Seven Swords of KFC

From Kaiju Shakedown:

In the interests of serving China some real food rather than the ridiculous diet of "rice", "vegetables" and "meat that is not chicken", KFC introduced the delectable cumin seed BBQ chicken burger. And to do so, they used a "Seven Swords of Mt. Tian" based on the character designs from Tsui Hark's recent not-so-hit movie, SEVEN SWORDS. Using the catchphrase "When the Master comes down the mountain, something important must be happening under the heavens," KFC portrayed an ascetic, vegetarian, Taoist monk who feeds the cumin seed BBQ chicken burger to some swordsmen, one of whom is also a vegetarian. KFC also has an online game based around the same theme, declaring, "The seven swords are ready to come down Tianshan to stop the chaos. While the six swords are ready to go, the youngest swordsman did not want to go. What will make him come down the mountain?" I bet it's a delicious cumin seed BBQ chicken burger!

For the record, I really dug Seven Swords.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Go to Hellboy

It's the official site for the Hellboy animated movie series. The trailer is in the downloads section.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Media rundown

Okay, when I haven't been swamped by people from across the world looking at a photo of a stupid cloud that happens to look a lot like the King Of Monsters, I've been doing the following:

Watching: Mighty Peking Man, multiple episodes of Ultraman, Zatoichi TV Vol. 1, Street Fighter II: the Animated Movie, multiple episodes of Flash Gordon, multiple episodes of Dark Angel, Stargate SG-1 season 10, Venture Bros. season 2, and Doctor Who series 2.
Listening (to): Nothing, really. Does the radio count?
Reading: Nada.
Playing: Nothing.
Sleeping: Lots.
Working: Overtime, baby. Overtime.

Cats, I tells you...

From SinFest:

Ahem... and now for something completely different...

... and not related to either pirates or giant monsters. It's the new TMNT movie trailer.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Is it real or is it Photoshop?

It's reportedly real, but I still have my doubts.

(Update: For those who are checking this thing out, and holy crap there's a lot of you, if any of you know where it came from, please leave me a note.)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Arrr! Where's me sshhhip?

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Classic movie poster

Here's an old poster for the original release of Godzilla in North America:

Note the rating.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Vindication?

Here's something odd, the site host from the UK that I had this puppy on, and who screwed me around over bandwidth, have re-established my old URL, but minus about 3 months of content.

Not sure what happened there, but December through February are missing.

Weird.

(Note: Yes, .kg is Kyrgyzstan, but the actual 'proprietor' is from the UK.)

Defeat

Okay, remember when I tried to coin the term 'semiotic entropy'?

Well, it's already been coined, damn it.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Matrix: Path of the Wachowski's

You may have heard of this. It's the 'revised' ending of the Matrix trilogy, as it appears in the game The Matrix: Path of Neo, and features the Wachowski's themselves. It's also funny as hell.

BTW, don't watch this one at work, as it contains 'language', and it's almost 10 minutes long.

Also, note the colour of Larry.

For the record, yes it's real... sped up in parts, such as the actual Boss Fight, but otherwise real. I just beat the game, and well, it was there complete with Queen's "We are the Champions" over the end cinematic and credits. Hey, it's the Wachowski's taking the piss, and it's from the creators of Earthworm Jim, what else would you expect.

As for the game itself? Not bad. Much better than Enter the Matrix, but flawed in its own ways. PoN includes what was missing from first game, however, PoN is also missing a lot of what made EtM entertaining. Basically, if you combined both games, you'd have the best damn movie tie-in game ever, with around 24 hours of gameplay.

What was neat, however, is that PoN has about a half dozen levels that are homages to other movies, including Enter the Dragon, Drunken Master II, Hardboiled, and Iron Monkey.

To sum thing up, it's a fun game for people who still give two tugs about The Matrix, but unless you can get it for cheap (like I did), it's a renter.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Media rundown

Heh, it's been over a month since I did one of these.

Watching: DVD- Zatoichi the Outlaw, Zatoichi: Festival of Fire, Marebito, Running with Karma, SPL: Sha Po Long, Cigarette Burns, Dreams in the Witch House, Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor), Big Trouble in Little China, Daredevil: the Director's Cut, The Shopaholics, Ghosts, Fearless, Azumi, Samurai Jack: Season 2, Dark Angel: Season 1, and Night of the Living Dead.
Listening (to): House of Pain, Blur, Deltron 3030.
Reading: Nothing, I think. I honestly can't remember if I've been reading anything. Sad, isn't it?
Playing: Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, Matrix: Path of Neo, Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King, Kingdom Hearts, Project: Snowblind, Area 51, Suikoden Tactics, X-Men Legends II, Superman: Shadow of Apokolips, Lupin III: Treasure of the Sorcerer King, and Arc the Lad: End of Darkness.

Ironic statement of the _______ or, Fandumb continues...

"We really need a sensible yaoi comm. Is anyone interested in starting a JF yaoi comm? One free of all this stupidity?" - Random poster at FandomWank.

A sensible yaoi community?

Sensible? Yaoi?

Two words that don't belong in the same sentence. Talk about putting the moron in oxymoron.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Esquire:The Lester Bangs of Video Games

re: The Lester Bangs of Video Games

This article is troublesome, not because it over-estimates the entire milieu of videogaming, but because it over-estimates the appeal of videogaming.

The reader reactions for Gamespot's interview with the writer of the article speaks volumes. The reason why there is no 'good' video game journalism, is that it attracts the sub-moronic. The people who aren't interested in video games will not ever be interested in videogames, especially in the socio-political climate of the here and now. There are far more important subjects to be written about, despite how far videogames have wormed their way into popular culture.

There will be no Pauline Kael or Lester Bangs, as the medium isn't even remotely interesting enough for the greater world to care about, and the exceedingly low level of intellectual power behind the current audience for videogame journalism isn't even remotely close enough for that level of social awareness to evolve out of it. (Man, was that ever a run-on sentence.)

When the average 'engaged' reader of a site like Gamespot is a slack-jawed throwback with the social skills of a small rodent, like the individuals whose posts grace the comments section of the interview, who can expect anything to evolve to the level of Kael or Bangs. Also, the double-oughts aren't the 60s or 70s. This is the highest that crass commercialism has ever been, and everything wallows in shallow, stagnant pond of substanceless media.

We're talking about the same media that made Paris Hilton a celebrity, and the people who bought into it.

We're not talking about particularly smart, critically aware people here.

I wish I could e-mail this response to the author of the article, because I believe I've answered his question.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Uh.... yeah....

Cats that look like Hitler...

...dot com, even.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

New questionaire meme

Your Slanguage Profile

Canadian Slang: 75%

Aussie Slang: 50%

British Slang: 50%

Southern Slang: 50%

New England Slang: 25%

Prison Slang: 25%

Victorian Slang: 25%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

Just as a note, some of the slang I've never heard of and just picked what it most sounded like to me.

Okay, weird video games just got a bit weirder...

I present Capcom/Clover's upcoming fighting game: God Hand. (Both in Quicktime.)

Trailer #1

Trailer #2

Warning: Contains graphic Looney Tunes meets Fist of the North Star violence levels, combined with crotch stomping/poking, strippers (of both genders), Luchadores, spanking and surf guitar.

(For the record, Mary, this isn't the game I was telling you about. This one is.)

Labels: mary chung, video games, web

Friday, July 07, 2006

Wii trailer take 2

Here's that old Wii trailer from E3, brought back by popular request:

Here's your moment of Zen - "Outlaw the O.P.E.C. Petition"

Outlaw the O.P.E.C. Petition

Counterpoint

(Blogger's Note: In case it's not blatantly obvious, I'm mocking the petition ala The Daily Show.)

Best damn game trailer ever

It's Rayman Raving Rabbids for the Wii. (Quicktime format.)

Gone with the Blastwave

I introduce you to gone with the blastwave, a darkly comic look at war, and videogames based on war. (I'm guessing at the latter bit, but a lot of it seems to fall into FPS cliche territory.) Also, it's the first webcomic I've encountered that doesn't look like all the other webcomics out there. The art is quite nice, and reminds me vaguely of some modern Heavy Metal styled art.

My only gripe is that, well, it feels vaguely racist in parts... even though you never actually see what the characters look like. (Mind you, it could just be intentional satire too.)

Here's the first strip. There's only been 19 since it started last year.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

More Xenosaga III gameplay

Okay, here's some more stuff, but warning, they're long and probably boring for those not interested.

Gameplay video #1
(Quicktime) (Windows Media)

Gameplay video #2
(Quicktime) (Windows Media)

Gametrailers.com's Xenosaga III page

Ask A Ninja

You Got Questions, Ninja Got Answers. | Ask A Ninja

'nuff said.

(Also, not related to the above... Theron, that you?)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

www.ryuhei-kitamura.com

Here's the official site for Japan's badboy of cinema, whose name isn't Miike, director Ryuhei Kitamura. He's best known for the zombie/gangster/martial-arts flick, Versus. He also directed the last Godzilla flick, Godzilla Final Wars.

I might add the site as a perma link, but I'm undecided. However, peruse the site for it contains trailers for all of his films, save GFW.

Fantastic 4 - Doomsday

From the makers of X-Men: Death Becomes Them is Fantastic 4 - Doomsday

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Man, I wish I could be in Montreal this summer...

... but I seem to think that every year.

Yes, it's FantAsia time again, and once again there's a bunch of world genre movies I want to see.

The ones that really caught my eye:

Aziris Nuna (Russia)

Death Trance (Japan)

Evil Aliens (UK)

Meatball Machine (Japan)

Necromancer (Thailand)

Re-Cycle (Hong Kong)

SARS Wars (Thailand)

The Wild Blue Yonder (Germany)

Zombie Self-Defence Force (Japan)

Arrrgh.

One of these years I've got to get my act together. Mind you, the year that happens either A. there'll be no movies I want to see, or B. FantAsia won't be happening. Well, at least I know that some of these will be on DVD soon.

Also, from checking out Aziris Nuna, it looks like Russia's on it's way to becoming the next big source of inovative genre flicks. First there's Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor), and now this one.

A word for Roger Ebert:

Retirement.

Having just read his review for The Devil Wears Prada, I think I can finally point to something and say that this is where Ebert finally showed that he has no business reviewing movies anymore. It's a remarkably shallow, yet utterly condescending, piece of tripe and shows that he's basically become the grumpy old man of film review.

Do yourself a favour Mr. Ebert, call it a night. The more reviews you write like this, the less and less credible your opinion becomes.

... and this is from someone who has absolutely no interest in the film.

6% GST and Future Shop's LPG (Lowest Price Guarantee)

Why do I get the feeling that we're going to be getting a lot of people coming back to get their 1% back on their purchases?

Also, why do I get the feeling that somebody is going to say the following at least once a day: "Um, let me get this straight. You want a 1% refund on that CD? You do realize that 1% of $10 is a dime, right?"

I just know this is going to happen. A frightening fact is that we get people who will get our LPG on things that are a nickel's difference.

Also, an old friend paraphrased Jeff Foxworthy with:

"If you just talked yourself down from $100 to $3 and still aren't happy with the deal, you might be from Brantford."

The sad fact is that we're forced to write a lot of things off like this because, well, it is Brantford. For such a small city, we've got a disproportionate number of people who are just ill-mannered, and/or out to rip us off. We've just recently been made officially a "high shrink store", which shocked a lot of people, but when I point out that all major retailers in Brantford have been labeled as "high shrink", most just sigh and nod solemnly.

Also, we sell a disproportionate number of Full-Screen DVDs compared to market stats. We also sell a baffling number of Full-Screen DVDs to people who actually own 16:9 widescreen TVs.

My brain just hurts because of that one.

It's because of that, that some days I come home from work feeling far more stupid than I did when I left.

A look at the inner workings of all things Jay, and an experiment with online identity. Also, an experience dedicated to the memory of a woman named Mary, who will always hold a special place in my heart.