Thursday, May 31, 2007


Can we please get this straight?

'Foreign' is not a genre.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

How things change

If you remember a couple of posts I made over the past month or so, most notable these two (1 and 2), I had a lot of optimism about my new job.

That's gone now.

I'm not sure if I've been suckered, or not, but the new job just wasn't what it should've been. Basically, I'm at a point where I have no choice but to quit. I'm against a wall, and (to really mix the metaphor) I have no net to jump in. It should have been a good match for me, but apparently my strengths that made me valuable weren't acceptable. (And, no, that doesn't make sense to me either.)

I'd been made to feel very, very unwelcome through what feels a lot like a passive aggressive attempt to drive me away. I knew I wasn't really wanted there in the first place, that it was an imposition on the staff, but I never expected it would turn to crap at the drop of a hat. Constantly hearing about how they wanted someone else (namely, my sister) and how the whole situation, meaning my hiring, was the store being set-up to fail really takes a toll on you after a while.

I also quickly got tired of working under a person with a "I'm right, you're wrong, and I don't care" attitude, who's full of negativity, and doubly tired of being trained by such a person. (Also, I learned quickly that I really hadn't been trained well at all.) In two weeks, I'd already recieved a reprimand. Which by itself is at least possible, but I wasn't given a chance to even defend myself, let alone know exactly what happened. I was supposedly rude and condescending towards two separate customers, but beyond that, I have no idea what happened. The implied "do it again, and you're fired" was just icing on the cake.

In all honesty, I should've known better. This is the company that's been giving my sister the short end of the stick for years now, and that should've been enough to keep me away. That said, I think I'm going to get a seasonal labourer job for the summer. It'll get me out in the fresh air, and I'll have plenty of exercise.

(Update, 15 hours later: I actually up and quit today. I really didn't need to go through that nonsense.)


Monday, May 28, 2007

Tokyo Sushi Bar at Midnight

I found this on John Rogers blog:

There are two types of people: those that see the above as art, and those that don't.

I'm one of the former, and I seem to be surrounded by the latter.

This is what sums up my condition.

Labels: ,

Saturday, May 26, 2007

This is why Blizzard is as successful as it is


Blizzard Grants Young Cancer Victim’s Wish

It warms a gamer’s heart to see someone in the community step up for those in need.

Case in point, the OC Register reported earlier this week that World of Warcraft publisher Blizzard helped make a young cancer patient’s dream a reality.

10-year-old Ezra Chatterton (left) was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few months back. Now wheelchair-bound, the Riverside 5th grader was recently visited by the Make-A-Wish Foundation, an organization dedicated to granting the wishes of children with life-threatening ailments. Chatterton knew exactly what he wanted:

I wished for a trip to Blizzard because I’d like to see if they could make a character and do some things for us.

Keeping his expectations in check, Chatterton didn’t expect much more than a video conference call. Imagine his delight when Blizzard flew him and his dad out, gave them a tour of the company, and allowed Ezra to work with lead Warcraft designer Jeff Kaplan to create some upcoming content for WoW.

By the days end, Ezra had designed a new crossbow weapon, recorded the voice for a character, created a quest, and added his dog Kyle to the game. Even cooler, the unique crossbow was attributed to his character, ePhoenix. And, with a snap of its digital finger, Blizzard powered up his level 63 character to 70 and stocked him with gold, weapons, and armor.

So why did Ezra base his wish around World of Warcraft? His dad, Micah, sheds some light:

I asked him to think about why he likes to play WoW and one thing he said was he likes interacting with people he doesn’t know. No matter how crappy things are going on the outside, in the real world, he can be strong and successful and really turn heads in WoW.

The game has also been a significant bonding experience for father and son. Said Micah:

There were a lot of things that are unconventional with our relationship, and the way we choose to bond and spend time together. For instance, WoW was something we had researched and talked about. We would talk about what kind of character do we want to create. This costume as opposed to that costume. We would make decisions together. Neither of us would feel comfortable about making a big decision without consulting the other.

-Reporting from San Diego, GP Correspondent Andrew Eisen would have wished for a pony

It's stories like this that almost let me regain faith in humanity.


Friday, May 25, 2007

Look who just turned 30....

Labels: ,

Thursday, May 24, 2007


A friend of a friend has written a play, Geek-Gasm, that will be premiering at the Toronto Fringe Festival. From Dave's description:

"It's a comedy set at a convention that pokes fun at the divisions that drive geeks apart and the social ostracism that brings them together - you know, livin' la vida dorka."

To learn more, click yourself over to their MySpace page and become his friend. I'm going to push this as much as I can, because the independent arts scene really needs a big push in the season of the Hollywood blockbuster. (Also, it's a karmic thing for when I finish my screenplay, and scurry to get it produced.)


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

In case you're wondering...

Yes, I am indeed losing my mind here. Just thought I should clarify that.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

And yet another thing...

I think I finally figured out why I'm so against 'healthy living' proponents, who preach exercise and diet, and that's that they're making money off of it. Of course, they're going to preach it, because the more you believe the more money you'll bring their way.

Now, that's not to say that I'm in anyway discouraging healthy living. I'd never do that, and despite my own issues with health and weight, it is the right way to go. What I do have issues with is the type of people who appear on CityTV/CP24 to sell healthy living.

Actually, it's more of a rant on CityTV/CP24, who should include a disclaimer at the beginning of each show to warn that the people being interviewed are selling you a service, and may not be acting in your best interest. They talk to a person from Edward Jones, they're selling Edward Jones. Talk to a person from a fitness centre, they're selling the fitness centre. Don't get me started on diminished value of HomePage.

We're talking about covert pseudo-infomercials, as I'd like to assume that they aren't being paid to talk to these guests, and they're selling it as news. Gone are the days of MediaTelevision, and it's lessons about 'the art of persuasion', that's for sure.

We're living in a dystopia (well, maybe anti-utopia, but that's more of a semantic argument), folks, and people are just blindly accepting it. For example, according to stats released today, SUV sales went up 25% and people are still complaining about the price of gas. You're letting this happen people, and you seem to be happy to do so.

Why? Because the media tells you to. If you're against it, you're just crazy, because it's just how things are and you have to accept it. If you point back to the media, they claim innocence, and then point their fingers at other parts of the media.

Which leads me back to CityTV/CP24.

Ever notice how they'll run a story on how hard it is for girls growing up today thanks to the media's portray of the 'perfect' body type, and how it's okay to be whatever shape you are, then they air a Perfect Fit segment saying that kids are fat and it's a bad thing? No wonder it's difficult, one mouth says it's okay if you're not thin, and the other says it's unhealthy. Sure, they never out-right say that it's okay to be fat, but it's implied. Also, look at the freaking Peferct Fit logo. It's a slim, perfect body.

It's dystopia. It's nowhere as obvious as Blade Runner, but Rick Deckard is in the shadows somewhere, and Philip K. Dick is probably smiling while he turns in his grave. It's why William Gibson doesn't write SF any more, because the world caught up with him, and did so very fast. He can write the same sort of story he would've written in the 80s, and set it in the here and now, with only a few tweaks to the technology.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."



Monday, May 21, 2007

And another thing...

It just occurred to me exactly how sad it is for a bunch of adults to be sitting around heatedly discussing the animated Transformers movie on an internet message board. I fully admit to being a man-child, but it never really clicked in exactly how pathetic it can get.

Labels: ,

I just realized something

I loathe 'clever'.

Smart, intelligent, and witty, I can handle, but clever just leaves me cold. Clever has a level of self-important smarm to it that just makes me want to hit people, and I don't like hitting people. Clever is when people go Micro$oft or Miram-axe or say 'Ghod' or 'gods' because they're non-traditional.

Give me a break, people.

Needless to say, this is probably why I hate geeks. Why? Because geeks are clever.

Labels: ,

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Dear news,

Please don't let 'man on the street' eyewitnesses speak on camera. They aren't half as clever as they think they are, and all you're doing is humiliating them. If you need an eyewitness description, talk to a professional, not Joe Six-Pack.



To clarify, that's eyewitness reports, not streeters. Streeters are fine.


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Quote of the _______

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

-Rich Cook


THIS is why I love film

It's an episode of IFC's Dinner for Five, hosted by Jon Favreau, featuring Roger Corman, Rob Zombie, Bruce Campbell, and Faizon Love. It's also not work or kid safe, as there's a lot of colourful language.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

This episode, for me, defines what I feel about film. While I love my Hollywood event movies, it's the guerilla indie spirit that drives me. Both Corman and Campbell are two of my idols, not necessarily for what they've done, but how they've gone about it. These guys, along with James Cameron in the early days, symbolize the gonzo world of guerilla film making. The hit, run, and fix it in post mentality.

The odd thing is that while I consider these guys my heroes, and I love the genre stuff they produce, it's not what I'm good at. I'm a romantic comedy guy. Still, I find that genre film making, especially SF and horror, is film craft at it's best. If you can put a scare in someone, or make them believe that they're watching something happening on an alien world, that's something and it's directly linked to the craft.

Rom-Coms are a different beast. It's all about the performance. If you can't believe that there's chemistry between the people on-screen, you can't fix it in post. (Well, with CG these days, you probably could but it defeats the purpose.) Jokes are jokes, with the writing being equally important to, if not more than, the performance. Sure, it's all about timing, but if the joke isn't funny, perfect timing isn't going to help. Film craft doesn't really apply here, and if Kevin Smith can shoot a successful comedy, anybody with some film background can. Smith is a funny guy, and it comes natural to him, at the same time he's a pretty mediocre (to be diplomatic) director. He's very smart to not step outside his niche, despite badgering by the Harv to do otherwise. (I cringe when I imagine how the Green Hornet movie might've turned out.)

All that said, I'm also a big fake. I haven't done anything since film school, and really, all I do is talk the talk these days. My school years were a pretty dark time for me, but my film work was what got me through. I think I've actually been afraid to go back and embrace it, but I'm going to try and change that. By this time next year, I hope to have something in development. It's going to be indie. It's going to be cheap. It's going to be me back on my game.

Who knows. Maybe I'll get Roger Corman's attention.

That would be cool.

(And, yes, I am %$#@ing dreaming.)

Labels: , ,

Monday, May 14, 2007

More Star Wars mirth from YouTube

Labels: ,

New Bruce

Sunday, May 13, 2007

When I'm on, I'm on

Labels: ,

Friday, May 11, 2007

Or maybe it's just the water down there

Okay, this comes a close second, from First Coast News:

Ninja Breaks Into Home, Attacks People

ORLANDO, FL (AP) -- A man dressed like a ninja broke into an Orlando home, smashed furniture, attacked two people and then vanished without a trace.

Three people were inside the home watching a movie Sunday afternoon when the ninja ran in, punched one man in the mouth and then kicked another man.

The victims -- who did not want to be identified -- reported that the costumed man slammed the DVD player and VCR into a dresser. Then he pulled out a knife and started waiving it around. The victims say the intruder didn't steal anything from the house but took several pictures with his cell phone camera.

When it was time for the ninja to make his escape, he didn't disappear in a cloud of smoke. The victims say the man ran down the street to a black BMW and drove off.
Is there insurance for that sort of thing?

Better question: Should there be?


Simply put, this is the craziest thing I've heard in weeks, and I've been listening to an open lines Coast to Coast show

Apparently, Jack Thompson is upset at Wendy's over their Wii Toys as they promote murder. From GamePolitics:

Hey, Jack… You Want Fries With That?

Not content to sue (so far this year) the Florida Bar, the Florida Supreme Court, GTA publisher Take-Two Interactive and leading gaming blog Kotaku, game-hatin’ barrister Jack Thompson has focused on a new target, burger franchise Wendy’s.

In the latest issuance from his nonstop e-mail machine, Thompson turns his attention to Wendy’s CEO Kerri Anderson. What’s Thompson’s gripe? Obesity? Cholesterol? The Frostys are too thick to suck through a straw?

Nah. It’s Rockstar’s upcoming Manhunt 2. So just what is Wendy’s connection with Manhunt 2? There isn’t one, unless you connect the dots the way Jack Thompson connects the dots.

With essentially no one left to sue, Thompson has latched onto a Wendy’s promotional tie-in with Nintendo Wii toys (pictured at left). The issue seems to be that:

a.) Manhunt 2 is what Thompson calls a “murder simulator”

b.) Manhunt 2 will appear on the Wii (among other systems)

c.) Wendy’s is promoting the Wii, therefore;

d.) Wendy’s is promoting Manhunt 2, which promotes murder

Thompson also claims to have the inside track on what deceased Wendy’ founder Dave Thomas would have wanted in this regard:

A dear friend of mine worked for Wendy’s and with Dave Thomas closely for years. From that I know that Dave Thomas never would have tolerated the use of Wendy’s good name to promote Nintendo’s Wii, not with this game available on the Wii platform.

So, second hand, friend-of-a-friend info on the inner thoughts of a dead guy. Is that what passes for evidence in Thompson’s world these days?

Funny, though. None of the toys depicted on the Wendy’s site seem to be from Manhunt 2. In fact, they all look rather E-rated.

Just to be clear here, Thompson has neither sued nor has he threatened to sue Wendy’s. However, he has been making noises of late about an international movement to block the publication of Manhunt 2, with details coming next week. Sounds to GP as though Thompson and British Parliamentarian Keith Vaz, another Manhunt critic, will be teaming up.

The man is absolutely crazy, and I really hope that he's locked up for the good of society over this one. This just occurred to me. Since he uses the internet, he's promoting child pornography, piracy, and identity theft. I think the authorities, along with the RIAA and MPAA, might want to have a word with him.

Labels: ,

Ah, geeks...

Okay, it's Friday, I've avoided posting for nearly a week, but I had to share this. I'm not going to link to it, as you'd have to skim through a bunch of D&D stuff, but I just read a complaint from an atheist about religion in fantasy settings.

Apparently, he doesn't like his fantasy settings to be irrational.


(Oh, and Lindsay Lohan defends Paris Hilton. Isn't cute when celebutards stick up for each other?)

Labels: , ,

Saturday, May 05, 2007

As you may have noticed

I rotate the quote that's at the very foot of this column. Right now, it's a quote from Grindhouse. Previously, it's been the oft quoted "No matter where you go, there you are" made famous by Buckaroo Banzai, a Grant Morrison quote about the leveling effect of the internet, an Anais Nin quote, and various examples of HK subtitles.

With that said, part of my is thinking about changing it to something like "Vomiting slightly in my mouth on a daily basis" as a commentary on how I feel about the world these days. This thought has soured me a little on the nature of my blog, as have Denis McGrath's words about net identity. (At least I think it was his words.)

I'm not going to rant about politics today. I'm not going to poke fun at celebutards. I'm not going to be intentionally ironic. I'm just going to try to take the week off. (I might do some light posting of stuff I want indexed here, but no real content from me.)

This week, I turn 36 and change jobs. I go from slacker manchild, to actually doing something with myself. I need to parse this transition to get over my innate fear of getting on with my life, and well, making the funny on a blog isn't going to cut it for me.

I'm not quitting the blog, at least I don't think I am, I'm just re-evaluating it. Starting this week, potentially, I'll be representing something different in my professional life, and being a mouthy geek with a chip on his shoulder won't be particularly helpful to me. I might retire this place, and then start-up something different. Something less pointless, and something more constructive.

Then again, I could just get over myself and keep going with this place.

Who knows? I sure as hell don't.

(Which is ironic, seeing as that I'm agnostic and not sure that there even is a hell.)

Anywho, it's sunny outside, and I've been inside for too long.

Later folks.

And, no, just to reiterate- I am not closing the site, or signing off for good. I think I'm going to sit out on the porch, and read a book or something. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Labels: , , , ,

Now that's Grindhouse

Stolen from boingboing (who stole it from Something Awful):

Labels: , ,

Friday, May 04, 2007

Just when you thought that piracy in China was bad enough

Unless this is a huge hoax, there's a bootleg Disneyland in China. Yes, an entire bootleg theme park.

Complete with bootleg Magic Kingdom

and bootleg characters

(While that indeed is a duck, the other is supposed to be a cat with big ears. No, I'm not making that up.)

Part of me is thinking this is a big put on, but who really knows.

Labels: ,

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I sense a great disturbance in the Force...

It's the ad for the upcoming Star Wars: Robot Chicken.

Labels: ,


A picture is worth 16 numbers:This just occurred to me.

There's about a million sites out there that have posted this. If they go after all of them, each person could fork out $100 each for a legal defense, making that roughly a $100 million defence fund. If there's a countersuit filed for, let's say, a fairly conservative $10,000 each for punitive damages, that would make it a $10 billion suit against them. (Not that I'm suggesting that this should be the course of action, I'm just thinking out loud.)

Yeah, like the image says: A can of worms won't open itself.

(For the record, there's a reason why I haven't explained the photo, but if you Google the text in the pic, you'll figure out what it is.)

Labels: ,